new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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