I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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