Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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