Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
