i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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