You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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