no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
