You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
