soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
