Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
