i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize