i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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