Welp...herpes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
