no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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