I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there was a trapeze. enough said
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize