I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize