69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
