YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
