I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize