I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
