My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
