I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
