i don't plan on having that self control this summer
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
