Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
