just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
