I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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