I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize