I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
