if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
