hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Still dying that you shit outside
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
