I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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