Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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