oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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