Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
