I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize