I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
