we're blogging at a bar
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize