Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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