Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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