Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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