i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
