she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
