That's when you crack a 10am beer
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
