Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
