her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
