So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and she was petting her beer can
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
