fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize