nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
