I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
this is an emotional support booty call
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There are leaves in my underwear?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
