I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Never joke about your clitoris.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
