i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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