dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
