Kiss
Puke
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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