i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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