She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
