i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
