Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
