I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
