I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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