So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
