I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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