They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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