That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
