I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize