did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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