This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
