hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
