She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
