you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
